Know your Boomhauer Brothers
The Boomhauer Brothers are real people. Only the names have been changed to protect the guilty. Of course, I'm not gonna show you pictures of them either.
B.J. is the rural southern equivalent of Fred Sanford. If the Boomhauer Brothers had a leader, B.J. would be it. We first met when he drove by my place and saw me hauling stuff out of the old shed - he wanted to know what I had to sell. Since then, we have bartered a lot of stuff back & forth. He trades me plants from his farm, cash and cheap beer for old junk I find on my property.
Rufus is B.J.'s brother. They are the only actual brothers among the Boomhauer Brothers. He often works for B.J. on his farm.
Bobby is divorced and retired but still maintains a full schedule of drinking beer and watching TV. I pick up a little cash cleaning his house a once a week. I also get to drink beer while I work. The first time I ever drank moonshine from a Mason jar was with Bobby.
Bocephus "Bo" Boomhauer
Bo is my neighbor. He is also my second cousin once removed. And an ex-felon. And a former Klansman.
Scott "Bark" Boomhauer
Bark is a cousin of B.J. and Rufus. He often works for B.J. on his farm.
Joe Boomhauer took me to my first cockfight. And my second. He raises fighting roosters and once gave me some of his excess hens for my flock. He's the father of Boom Jr.
Boom Jr. is the son of Joe Boomhauer. He's just getting his start in the regionally popular (if underground) sport of cockfighting.
Jed is a retired airline worker from Georgia. His birthday is the day after mine.