Princess Useless



  • Friskies Shredded Turkey & Cheese in Gravy

  • Warm laps

  • Cool water direct from the bathtub faucet 


  • Dogs

  • Cats

  • Those little laser pointers 


Marley first came to El Rancho Spenardo in December of 2002 - showing up uninvited to the campfire. She was very friendly and talkative, but looked  like hell  -  nothing but skin, bones & dreadlocks. Full grown, she weighed only four pounds. Her long hair had matted into clumpy fist-sized dreads. She was the saddest kitty in the world. 

After her campfire entrance, she never left the Ranch. She lived underneath Steve and Johanna's cabin for a while. She even spent time inside the cabin, but the other Ranch cats there never really accepted her  - treating her like the ugly stepsister. 

I tried coaxing her into the big house but she was too afraid.  She'd follow me a couple feet into the yard and then run back underneath the cabin.

After watching this  poor kitty tough it out through TWO  Alaskan winters, I was bound and determined to get her inside. Besides, it had been three years since Memphis died and that's a long time for a catlady to be catless. 

 It took a couple months and dozens of cans of food, but she finally made it to the front door and then began short tentative trips inside the house. It wasn't long after that she decided to move in.  She let me start cutting her dreads -  it was two months before I discovered Marley was a girl!

Now, she hardly ever leaves the house. She is a spoiled princess who has claimed half the couch for herself. She's trained me to operate the bathtub faucet on command so that she may drink cool, clear running water.

She also refuses to chase mice. On more than one occasion, she has been seen letting mice eat from her food bowl. She's a lover not a fighter!